Meh

So, I guess when I pick up a book, I have certain expectations about what will be in said book. For example, if the cover is mostly pink and has a cartoon woman on it, I expect something light, humorous, and probably romantic. If the cover has a helicopter or an explosion and a person running away with, say, cross hares on him/her, I expect to probably skip it.

When I borrowed Dear American Airlines: A Novel by Jonathan Miles from the library, I expected a scathing, funny account of a character annoyed with air travel. Since this is something we pretty much all have in common, I was eager to get started.

The first little bit was fantastic -- and if the entire novel had stayed with the airport and the guy's ire, the novel would have been perfect. However, the character goes off on tangents, talking about his past, translating another story about a Russian soldier, leaving only about 20% of the book about what I expected it to be about. I almost felt like the author had tricked me: luring me in with one story, and making me sit through two others.

Anyway, it was well written (although I'll admit I skimmed the last half). Go read the excerpt on Amazon.com -- it's very good.

Reading lots

From what follows in this post, one might assume I have loads of free time on my hands, which is not true. The majority of the "reading" I'm getting done lately is in the form of audiobooks, which I use to make my workday more palatable.

Let's begin.

First, I finished David Sedaris' When You Are Engulfed in Flames. I absolutely love his essays, but when he branches into fiction (as he does in one title), he exaggerates so much that the story becomes difficult to relate to (at least for me). But listening to him read his own work is half the pleasure - I'm not sure I can read one of his books to myself anymore because I've been so spoiled. In fact, have a listen here.

Second, I listened to Jhumpa Lahiri's Unaccustomed Earth: Stories (Vintage Contemporaries). I've read her other books, The Namesake, and Interpreter of Maladies, and this collection was comparable with those. Nice descriptions of the emotions of everyday people, but sometimes those emotions run pretty dark; one story (Only Goodness) left me pretty drained and wanting to be out of that situation at the end. Luckily for me, it was just a story, not something I'd actually experienced, so I went about my day as though it never happened. That's the beauty of Lahiri's work, though -- she can really make you believe you've gotten your heart broken.

Still working on The Sleeping Dragon by Miyabe. It's entertaining, but it's old-fashioned words-on-paper reading, so I've got to find time during non-working hours.

Also in the "read it to me" vein, I attended an author reading at the Philadelphia Free Library last night, and saw Sloane Crosley. The first time I'd heard her was listening to her story "The Pony Problem" online, and ever since I've been a fan. Had a great time - didn't stay for autographs, though, because I've yet to buy one of her books. Bad, I know.

But it hasn't all been roses and tea-parties. I listened to about a third of Janet Evanovich's Fearless Fourteen, and decided I'd rather listen to ambient office noises than continue with the story. I borrowed the audiobook on the recommendation of a colleague of mine. She told me Evanovich was funny and interesting; I wanted to like it. The humor seemed forced, and the characters didn't seem real - almost like a cartoon or stereotypes. Anyway, the series is certainly popular, so she's hitting the right spot for someone -- just not me.

Appetite

If you like short stories, I recommend Appetite by Saïd Sayrafiezadeh.  It's about a guy who is a waiter and his adventures, if you will.  The thing I loved the most about this story is that he describes almost everything I've ever felt about work (anywhere - retail in particular, but some of it goes for the office, too).  The opening scene where the main character wants to ask for a raise is painfully vivid (in a good way).  Also, the character has a dream, but instead of faking out the reader by having something good happen and then PSYCH!! waking up, the author accurately describes a confusing jumble of memories and TV shows, and conversations that might have been.  When the character wakes up and realizes he's been asleep instead of watching TV, instead of feeling played, I think, "aww, that's happened to me too."

What bothers me about modern literary fiction in general (and what happened with this particular story also), is that sometimes nothing really happens.  There are a bunch of good characters who flash back and dream and interact, but when it comes to the ending, I'm left feeling a bit ... blah.  I will tell you that I'm totally lost when it comes to symbolism, and that might be holding me back with the genre.  Someone please clue me in: when reaching the end, am I supposed to feel something other than, "huh.  Well ... that's it, I guess"?

Mind's Eye by Håkan Nesser

Now that I've stopped writing for a little while, I've got to read a few books.  So I went to my library, and ended up borrowing Mind's Eye by Hakan Nesser, who is, apparently, pretty popular in Sweden.  I thought, Good! I like European things, and the description of the story sounded interesting.

The mystery starts out really promising.  Guy wakes up and doesn't know what happened (quite like what I just wrote -- one reason I chose this book), and discovers his wife is dead.  Guy goes to prison, but he didn't do it -- and gets murdered himself (don't worry, this is all in the blurb, so I'm not giving anything important away).  

That's all good.  Interesting.  Okay, now what?

The investigators investigate.  They talk to people.  Halfway though, they're talking to people.  At the 3/4 point, they're talking to people.  At the end, they're talking to people.  

I don't know.  If you read on Amazon, it got really good reviews, but I didn't feel it.  It was sort of like the middle sagged all the way to the end, and all the questioning became really repetitive.  Very much a plot-driven story, since the characters didn't really have lives of their own (not as much as I like -- i.e. they didn't really do any extra-curricular activities that weren't mentioned as a side-note).

Nothing strikingly "wrong" with the story or the writing style, just not my cup of tea.

Pet Peeve #2

The Bastard of Istanbul by Elif Shafak

Well, it's pet peeve time again. I was really hoping I'd love this book -- after all, nothing makes me happier than reading about a place that isn't America. Any place. The first 2 chapters exceeded my expectations (with a subject like abortion, no less). I thought, "Fantastic! I've found a new favorite author!" No.

Problem #1: Limitless flashbacks

I enjoy a good flashback like the next person (my favorite show is Lost, for Heaven's sake -- and it's half flashback, half actual story), but when it takes away from the main story and is boring, I end up skipping paragraphs - nay, whole chapters at a time.
In addition to the flashbacks, every single character gets their own scenes/chapters, which sometimes is really good, but sometimes leaves me wondering when I'm gonna get back to the heroine. With a heavy sigh, I skip some more pages.

Problem #2: Needless wordiness

This author likes to refer to each character by his/her whole name almost every time she referrs to the character. It raised my suspicion that she was trying to reach a target word/letter count when in one paragraph, the name "Barsam Tchakhmakhchian" appeared like 10 times.
Aside from names, she likes to describe things and "remember" things, and describe the way so and so really liked a certain food, tries to get us emotionally involved in that food, and then in a glorious climax, prints the entire recipe in the text.

Problem #3: Head-hopping

In my effort to write a really good novel, I've done some research on various "rules" to keep my composition from sucking. One of these rules is that in a single scene, the writer should stick with one character's point of view so that the reader doen't get confused about who's doing what or who's thinking what. This writer looooooves to break that rule. At one moment, we're following one character, following her moves, her thoughts, and all of a sudden, we're in someone else's head. Someone else is moving and thinking. For a look at "the rules", click here: http://writing-world.com/fiction/headhop.shtml

Pet Peeve #4: The violating twist (spoilers ahead)

I'm all for a good WTF twist at the end, but utter reader (and character) violation is too much. The author did not set up for it in any way, leaving me to have to re-read the offending scene (oh yes, it was incest! DETAILED INCEST!) 1. because there had been too much wordy description/flashbacks and I had been skimming, and 2. because I was hoping my evening hadn't been ruined by what I thought I just read ... but it was. I was so frustrated that I wanted to open my high-rise window and let the stinking thing fly ... but littering also irritates me, so I shoved it violently back on the shelf. It will take a ride with me on my next trip to the used bookstore.

I'm developing a new pet peeve ...

Currently Reading:

Reality TV Bites by Shane Bolks

I've decided to branch out and read some stuff I normally wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole, such as the above listed book. Chick-lit/Romance has never really been my thing, and I avoid reality TV like the plague (most of the time). I'll say this right now: this book isn't badly written. Light, yes. Shallow, yes. But sometimes we need something that's "just entertaining", and for that, it does its job. However, one thing I'm having difficulty wrapping my head around is the abundance of brand names (especially the uber designer ones).
For example: (a spur of the moment composition by me, not a quote)

She picked up the phone and chipped her OPI Passionly-Passion
nail polish. "Oh dammit!" she said into the phone.
"Sorry?"
"I mean, hello?" she covered her eyes, careful not to touch the
Maybeline as she tapped her Prada heels on the linoleum.

Is it just me, or does it seem a LOT like a bunch of product placement? An elaborate commercial? I understand saving time by saying "the Volkswagon Beetle" rather than describing the car in painful detail -- but it's a shortcut, am I right? It seems as though if I'm not familier with the product itself (like So and So's Dashing line at Boss), I almost need to look it up in order to get the picture the author is trying to paint - a hinderance instead of a help. And what about the people 50 years from now who might read the book? A certain super-cool very specific cell phone 1) isn't going to be cool anymore and 2) there's the possibility that NO ONE will know what it is.

Also, isn't it supposed to be up to the reader to imagine the scene? That's why a lot of writers don't over-describe their characters because if I think "Josh" should look like Adrien Brody, but you think "Josh" should look like your friend Tom ... if it doesn't have a real place in the story, describing "Josh"'s stringy black hair and lean features over and over is going to mess with your baby-faced, blonde version you've picked out. Sometimes specific descriptions are important to the situation or the character, but it ought to be obvious. A character's nickname is "Red" because she has red hair. Someone has a lot of scars because he was in a house fire 5 years ago. Another person is of Eskimo decent and looks Asian, so when he orders lunch at the Yummy Panda Buffet restaurant down the street, the waiter speaks to him in Chinese, and that annoys him. Stuff like that.

While we're at it: cuss words (not a problem in Reality TV Bites, but a pet peeve nonetheless). When anyone says (or writes) ANY word way too much, it's irritating. Another example? I'm glad you asked:

"I waited for the bus for over an hour. The bus was supposed to run on the
bus' schedule of 15 minutes. Busses are usually punctual, but this bus
kept me waiting. When I turned my head, the bus came and I missed the bus
and I had to wait for another bus. That bus was also a little late because
the bus didn't stick to the bus schedule."

Ok? It's like that with gratuitous use of the F word. ANY word. So please, all you Hollywood screenplay writers, that guy who shouts on the street corner outside my bedroom window, and Chatty Chatterson on the cell phone across the aisle from me: USE SOME OTHER WORDS!

Rant over.